fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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