Whod you bang
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
