How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
