Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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