How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
