I CAN MOONWALK!
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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