everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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