Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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