Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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