Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize