I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
