He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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