Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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