He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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