are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
