drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
