I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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