it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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