Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Pants are for mortals
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
