i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
