fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
