nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Randomize
