He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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