You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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