Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
