Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
