Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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