It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
