we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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