Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
