We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Edward fifth and chaser hands
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
