He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
