Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
