Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
