Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
