My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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