I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
