I should be sponsored by Trojan
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I just gargled with NyQuil
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