The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
