No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
