I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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