There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Randomize
