how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
