Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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