I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
All I want is dick and wine.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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