a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
