Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
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