I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
