Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize