Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize