I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
