So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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