Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
