You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize