He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
