We named our party play list daddy issues
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
