you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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