WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
