I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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