Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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